Your presence matters

Today’s post is adapted from the May 24th, 2016 post.

“Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, ‘Sit here while I go over there and pray.’ He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.’” (Matthew 26:36-38)

There may be no more poignant reminder that Jesus was not only fully God but fully man than this passage from the last days of Jesus’ life. Facing an impending betrayal and certain death, Jesus walks into the Garden of Gethsemane to be with his Father, and says to Peter, James, and John, “stay with me.” In this moment of incredible agony, where he will be confronted by the temptation to give up his march to the cross, Jesus does not want to be alone, but asks his friends to remain with him.

Many of us have found ourselves watching a loved one facing a time of intense suffering, wishing that there was something we could do to make it all better. Sometimes there are little things that can be done, like sending a card, or paying a bill, or watching their children. Other times, however, we may feel helpless, as we have nothing to give but our presence. But as we learn from Jesus in Gethsemane, our presence is not a small gift. Our willingness to share in another’s suffering by simply being with them can provide our suffering loved one with the encouragement and love to help them through another day, knowing that they are not going through this trial alone.

Joe Bayly, a man who watched three sons die, testified to this in his book The view from a Hearse:

“I was sitting, torn by grief. Someone came and talked to me of God’s dealings, of why it happened, of hope beyond the grave. He talked constantly. He said things I knew were true. I wished he would go away. And he finally did. Another came and sat beside me. He didn’t talk. He didn’t ask leading questions. He just sat beside me for an hour, or more. He listened when I said something. He answered briefly. He prayed simply. And he left. I hated to see him go.”

Over my years as pastor, I have often found myself with someone going through painful loss or intense suffering. Whether I am at the hospital with parents grieving the loss of their child, sitting with an elderly woman who has lost the ability to speak in a nursing home, or sitting with a family as they prepare for a funeral, I have learned to trust that it is my presence that matters more than my words. Listening to those who are grieving, simply praying for them, or just sitting in silence can minister more than worrying about finding the perfect words to say.

Our age of text messaging and emails may make it easier to connect with a great number of people, but it also increases the power that we can have by being physical present with someone. So today, take some time to consider those in your life who are suffering, and make a plan to share the gift of your presence with someone today. If even the Son of God desired the presence of His friends in the midst of His trial, how much more do the men and women of our world need the presence of a friend in times of suffering.